1096 days

Today makes 3 years since I hugged Austin. 1096 days. He should be 18 years, 6 months and 25 days old today. While the hole in my heart is still there, most of my days are manageable now. Austin stories make me smile and laugh more than cry. His death is still incomprehensible to me, unlike the deaths of my parents and grandparents. I miss his sense of humor, I miss him hugging me and telling me I smell good, I miss his smile, I miss his name coming up on my phone. I didn't get to choose my circumstances but I do get to choose my response. I choose to have faith in a loving and merciful God, who has a plan that is far beyond my comprehension. I choose to have hope that I will see my Savior and my son someday, that this world is not all there is. And I choose to love, because loving those whom God puts in my path is a greater calling than any other. I have not been alone in my grief and I am not alone in my survival. Deepest heartfelt thanks to those of you who have walked side by side with me on this journey. Love to you for your prayers and support. I don't know what God has in store for me but I know he will reveal it to me in time. God will use this for his glory; I know Austin's work is not yet finished. He is catching bigger fish for sure!