When I started this blog, I had hoped it would be a creative, crafty place for my artwork. Those who know me know that I love, or used to love, paper crafting of all kinds. That's why the original name of the blog was Finding Time to Stamp. That was one of my favorite joys and also challenges... finding the time in an otherwise full and busy life for my creative energy to take flight. Turned out that I was never very good at posting my artwork.
Anyway, in February of 2013, our family's life was turned inside out in a major life altering act of violence, and our youngest (15 year old) son was murdered. By a neighbor who opened fire on their passing truck. An 18 year old neighbor who should never have had the 9 mm handgun in the first place. After 2 years and 5 months worth of multiple delays and excuses, he eventually stood trial in March of 2015 and was sentenced to one count of manslaughter and 2 counts of aggravated battery for the other two boys in the vehicle, who were also hit by his hollow point bullets, but survived.
In hindsight, I wish I had journaled my way through this process. I did very little journaling because in my mind I knew I would have to write and read to the court a Victim Impact Statement, and for some reason this gave me writer's block. I think it was because I knew that statement would be the most important and deeply personal public statement I have ever read and I wanted it to be perfect.Yeah, right. A "perfect" description of the day your heart was ripped open and what it is like to live the rest of your life with that open wound and without one of your precious children. There are no words to describe it but I did my best. Maybe one day I will share it here, along with a few journal entries from that time in my life. Here's one....and as I said in my impact statement, I will never get used to having less children.
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